I don't know where to start

Keynotes

·      Embrace the fear

·      Take small steps

·      Checklist your life

You have probably been here before: you have an idea, a dream, a goal. You can see the end result so clearly, but not the path to get there. Where do you even begin?

That feeling has stopped me in my tracks more times than I can count. I’ve put so many dreams on hold simply because I couldn’t answer that one paralyzing question. The solution finally came to me through a book - no surprise there.

The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse - Charlie Mackesy

In The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy, a young boy embarks on a journey to an unknown destination. Along the way, he meets a mole, a fox, and a horse. Together, they talk about life. At one point, the group finds themselves lost in a forest:

            “I can’t see a way through,” said the boy.

            “Can you see the next step?”

            “Yes.”

            “Just take that,” said the horse.

That simple moment shifted something in me. So often we want the quick route to our dreams. But when the path isn’t easy, or feels overwhelming, we tend to give up.

Instead of viewing a goal as one big, intimidating mountain, break it down into small, manageable steps. A hundred if you need to. Write them down like a checklist.

Learn more: How do I take that first step?

I used this approach the night before my first big solo trip to Bali. I had looked forward to it for months, but suddenly, the idea of flying to the other side of the world alone felt impossible. I hadn’t packed yet. I was crying, panicking, and coming up with excuses not to go. After a couple hours of spiraling, I was out of tears and took a deep breath. I remembered the horse’s advice and asked myself: What’s the next step?

• Take a shower.

• Print my packing list.

• Pack my backpack.

• Have dinner with my family.

• Watch a movie with my sisters.

I still slept horribly that night, feeling anxious and restless, but I felt slightly more grounded, knowing I had at least started.

Learn more: 5 tips to deal with anxiety while traveling solo

The next morning, I repeated the same exercise. What were the small, manageable steps from waking up to arriving at the airport?

• Shower

• Drink coffee

• Eat breakfast

• Brush teeth

• Pack final items

• Hug sisters, hug dad

• Get in the car with mom

• Listen to a fun playlist in the car

• Chat with mom

• Park the car

• Walk into the departure’s terminal

• Hug mom

• Check-in luggage

• Go through security

• Find a coffee shop

• Read a book

Make these steps as small as you need them to be, just know they are not insignificant. List them in the notes app on your phone and check them off as you go. Believe me, it will make you feel more confident and prepared, and eventually help you cross the finish line.

Such a long list might seem unnecessary at first, but believe me, it works. Check each step one by one, slow and steady wins the race.